The second twin
by Assbutt in a trenchcoat
Summary: Destiel A/U: Cas lives a normal life until he found out about Jimmy Novak, a man that got struck by a lightning AND looked just like him. Cas decides to visit Jimmy's family and came to know that Jimmy had been his twin brother. But what happens when Castiel finds a photo of Jimmy and a certain green eyed man...?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey there everybody, like I announced I'm going to post a second story parallel to the previous one. This one is going to be completly AU, hope you enjoy the first chapter. I'm trying to update weekly. Please review what you think :)**

* * *

Castiel Lord had never had an extraordinary life, sure it wasn't normal, but he was happy. He had a job, a little flat, a cat and a father that loved him and cared about him. You may say thats not much but it was everything he needed. His father had raised him good, he was always honest but knew how he had to behave properly. Castiels manners were some of the things his father was the most proud of and that was justified, because it had been hard to raise him alone. He never told Castiel about his mother, the only thing he knew was that she left them when Castiel was just one year old. Castiel didn't even care about that. His father was his family, and he needed no one else, even though he felt alone sometimes. But he usually overrode the lonelyness.  
He wasn't someone who socializes a lot, to be honest, he had two friends. One of them was a ginger cat called 'Bee'. The other one was Charlie.  
The Thing about describing Charlie Bradburry is, that you can't. She's just the kind of a Person you like to stay with, even if you're as socially incompetent as Castiel. And that was literally everything you needed to know about her. She was working at the coffee shop around the corner of his work. They even met there for the first time.

It was Castiels break and he wanted to go get a coffee and maybe a little snack from the new coffeeshop 'round the corner. The red headed barista immedialtly noted his order but it took her three attempts to write his name onto the cup and when she handed him the cup it still said 'Cassie' but he just laughed and paid. He went there everyday after that. 'Cassie' and Charlie got to be friends pretty soon after that. Now it was about two years ago.  
Castiel wasn't surprised when she called him on a sunday morning, she often did that, but at this moment he didn't knew what this call would change.

He was sitting in his armchair doing a little channel surfing, his cat Bee sleeping in his lap, when his phone rang. It was the Harry Potter film theme, Charlie chose to be her ringtone herself. He picked up and gave his best friend a 'sunday morning' smile, even though she wasn't able to see it.

"Cassie?", Castiel laughed a little when she called him his stupid nickname.

"Mornin' Char, what's up?"

"Thank god you're okay! I worried a little you know? ", well that was strange. Why would she worry about him?

"Uhm Char? I'm alright what's wrong? Why did you worry?", Castiel asked and turned down the volume of his tv down a little.

"Didn't you read the newspaper?"

"Uhm no... why?", now Castiel was confused and frowned. He shoved Bee off his lap and got up to look for todays newspaper.

"Just read it Cassie. Drop whatever you are doing and read this newspaper. Page two, second or third article. Call me when you're done." Castiel just got even more confused the more she talked. Before he could say anything else she had already hung up.  
Castiel found the newspaper lying infront of his door, where the mailman had placed it. He scrolled over page one and looked at page two, like Charlie had told him.

 **-|Local man struck by lightning|-**

 **Jimmy Novak (25), got struck by a lightning during the heavy storm last night. His brother, Gabriel Novak (28), told us that Jimmy had left the house before the storm had begun. 'He went to his daily Jogging trip. He hadn't been home when the storm started and by the time we called him to ask him where he was ... he was already... dead.', Gabriel told us. In the history of this country there had been only a few people that died of being struck by a lightning, and it's a tragedy that Jimmy Novak (a member of our city council) had to be one of them. (...)**

Castiel didn't even read the whole article. The thing that took all of his attention was the picture that was placed under the article. It showed the man that got struck by a lightning. Castiel felt like someone had ripped out his lungs, he just couldn't catch any breath.

The man, Jimmy Novak, looked just like him. . .


	2. Chapter 2

Castiel wasn't quite sure why he was doing this. All of this was just so stupid, but there he was standing in front of Gabriel Novaks house.  
After he had read the article over and over again he had sat back into his armchair. There had to be a mistake, this picture had to be fake or something like that. He had promised Charlie to call her when he read the article but he didn't feel like calling her that moment. Charlie was lovely and she was really nice but sometimes she was a little noisy and he didn't feel like he could stand that right now. Instead of calling Char, he decided to find Gabriel Novak, the brother of the victim. He looked through the phonebook, there weren't as that much Novaks.  
Like that he found the house he was standing at. It was a white coated bungalow, fenced by a wodden fence that barely reached Castiels waist. There were a few angel statues in the yard that were looking at Castiel with dead stone eyes. He felt a little uncomfortable when he passed them and stepped up the three stairs that lead to the door. He was already about to ring the bell when the sound of the Harry Potter theme stopped him. Charlie had called him twice in the last fifteen minutes, he didn't pick up but when she called this time he decided to pick up.

"CASSIE! WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME?! I WORRIED!"

Yep, there it was. The reason to never never _never_ miss Charlies calls. Castiel sighed a little.

"Char-"

"NO! Don't do this: 'c'mon Char, I'm sorry Char,' Thing.", she said mocking Castiels deep voice. "Man I thought you had done something stupid."

Castiel chewed his bottom lip. He heared the worry in her voice and felt a little guilty.

"I'm sorry I just didn't feel like talking to someone. It's really strange you know? This guy looked exactly like me!"

"I know Cassie. Maybe you wanna talk now? Where are you?"

Castiel took a deep breath.

"Uhm I am ... I'm at home, still not really ready to talk. Uhm I have to feed Bee now. See ya" , Castiel lied and hang up quickly. He usually didn't lie to Charlie but if he told her about what he was about to do, she probably would have freaked out. He looked up at the doorbell again. Once again he took a deep breath before pressing down the button.  
It didn't took long until someone opened the door. The man that was now standing in front of him was a little smaller than Castiel. His golden hair was a bit shaggy, he had swept it behind his ear to keep it out of his eyes. The mans eyecolour reminded Castiel a little of the colour of whiskey. There were so many expressions on the face of the man and none of them seemed to be positive. He looked surprised then confused, that turned into sad quickly. It took only seconds to change from sad to angry.

"Go!", he hissed between clenched teeth. Castiels mouth dropped open. He expected all sort of things, but not that.

"Uh... I-", he stuttered but the men cut off his word.

"That's just sick! Dressing up as my brother. I don't know how you do the thing with your face but it's not funny so just leave already!" The man was nearly yelling. Castiel felt bad now. He didn't think of that good enough about that, he had acted out of a pure impulse, he didn't consider that this man had just lost his brother, who look just like him.

"No it's not like that! See, my Name is-"

His word got cut off again, this time it was an elderly woman that appeared behind the man.

"Who is it Gabriel?", she said but when her gaze met Castiel she froze.

"It's nothing mom, he wanted to leave." The man, Gabriel, looked at the woman and stepped back to Close the door, but the woman stopped him. Her eyes were still pinned at Castiels face. Castiel felt a little uncomfortable. He ran his fingers through his dark hair and slightly looked at the floor.

"Castiel?"

This one word shocked both, Castiel and Gabriel. They looked at the old woman that looked a little shocked and happy at the same time. Her still vivid blue eyes started to fill with tears but the rest of her face was crinkled in a smile.

"Gabriel, take your brother inside. We have to talk..."

Castiels heart stopped for a second.

 _Did she just say brother?_

* * *

Castiels eyes were pinned on the floor, holding the porcelain tea cup in his hand that Mrs. Novak had given him. How could that even be true? Not only that he had a _dead twin brother,_ no! There were three other brothers. Mrs. Novak was his mother, the woman that had left them when he was just a child.  
She had told them, them is actually Castiel and Gabriel, about everything.

When she was younger the father of Gabriel, Raphael, Michael and Lucifer left her. She was alone with four children and she didn't knew what to do, but then she met Jimmys and Castiels father. He tried to help, he really loved her, and he loved the children aswell, but like every other couple they argued. One day the argueing got worse, they argued for days but in the end they both agreed that it'd be better if they would part ways. At that time she already was pregnant with Jimmy and Castiel.  
When the twins were born Mrs. Novak told their father that she wanted to keep them, but he didn't agree. He insisted on keeping one child, so he took Castiel and she took Jimmy. Michael and Lucifer, the oldest two of the remaining Brothers, were the only ones old enough to remember, but they were told not to speek about it.

While she told them that Gabriel didn't took his eyes off Castiel. He looked like Jimmy, was it possible that this guy really was their brother? Jimmys twin? He didnt't know what to think about it. His mom lied to him, Michael and Lucy had lied to him. And still the worst part of it: Jimmy was dead. He still couldn't believe that he was never comming back. He had always been his favorite brother.

"So I've... I've got four ... brothers?", Castiel asked still not really recovered yet.

"Uhm yeah. . . guess so.", Gabriel answered giving Castiel a little smile. "Welcome to the family..."

Castiel smiled back at him. This smile reminded Gabriel so much of Jimmy. It was impossible how similar the to of them were, there were just a few differences. Castiels hair was a little more messy than Jimmys, even though Gabriel never thought that that would even be possible and Castiels voice was a little deeper.

"We didn't have a good start so I guess we should try it again", Gabriel said as he put his tea cup on the table. "Hi my name is Gabriel Novak, nice to meet ya lil' brother"

Castiel couldn't help but chuckle a little. "My name is Castiel Lord, nice to meet you too ... big brother."

Castiel shook Gabriels hand, a big smile on his face. He had never admitted it, but he always secretly wanted to have a big brother.

* * *

The to of them talked a lot. About Jimmy, the rest of the Family and about their jobs. Gabriel told Castiel that the best two Novak brothers to be friends with were Gabriel himself, and Jimmy.  
"I never liked the other three anyways, they're so... boring.", Gabriel just said.  
Gabriel had to admit that he liked Castiel, he was a bit alike Jimmy not only because of his looks. They both had this strange kind of humor that only Gabe was getting, they were both a little shy they even shared their love for cats, but unlike Jimmy he was extremely polite and apologised a lot. Gabriel found that really funny, he already counted the 'sorrys'.

* * *

After like half a hour talking Gabriel asked if Castiel wanted to look at some family pictures. Castiel simply nodded and smiled a little when Gabe handed him a big photo Album. It was bounded in a leather cover that had a golden writing on it, it read _memories._  
The first few pictures were really cute. They were pictures of when they were kids. Castiel could see that Gabriel said the truth when he told him that he didn't really like the others. On every group photo of the children Jimmy and Gabe were standing next to each other but they kept a little distance from the other three kids. On the first pictures Jimmy had been smaller than Gabriel but Jimmy overtook his older brother pretty fast.

They were almost done with the Album, it was one of the last pages, when Castiel frowned a little.

"Gabe? Who's that?", he asked as he pointed at the picture he was looking at. It showed Jimmy who kissed the cheek of the man that had taken the photo. The man grinned straight into the camera, showing off two rows of perfect white teeth. His skin was perfectly tanned and spotted with freckles but Castiel saw the slight blush that glinted on his cheeks. The mans beautiful green eyes seemed so alive, it felt like he was looking at Castiel right through the picture.

"Uhm I think his name was Dean Winchester... or something like that. Jimmy dated him a few times when we were on our holiday trip in spain last year. Jimmy never really forgot him I guess.", Gabriel answered and shrugged. Castiel looked at the picture again, Feeling a slight tingle in his stomach.

"Could you ... Would you mind ... uhm can I have a copy of that picture? I kinda like it."

"Sure Cassie.", Gabriel said with a little grin on his face. "You don't if I call you that, do ya?"

Castiel chuckled "No I don't. You're not the first one calling me Cassie."

"Well who who's the first one then?"

"My best friend Charlie, I tried to make her shut up but since it didn't work out I just tried to get used to it.", Castiel explained while he closed the album. "I think you'd like her."

Gabriel smiled and took a swig of tea. "You know what? We should go get a beer with that Charlie girl tonight, I could also bring around the copy of that picture you wanted. What ya thinkin'?"

Castiel nodded. Going out with friends, or brothers, was not one of his usual activities, but Charlie would be happy to see him leave the house for once so he agreed.

"Great. 8.00 pm at the 'hell hounds' okay?"

"Okay.", Castiel just said looking his phone display. Three missed calls, all of them were from Charlie. "Damn", he whispered as he quickly got up. "Sorry Gabe I have to go now."

The smaller man pulled him into a quick hug. "See ya at hell hounds okay?"

Castiel smiled and nodded before he walked through the living room, down the hallway and out of the door.

* * *

The first thing he did after leaving the house was calling Charlie.

"CASSIE?!"

"Before you yell at me: We have an appointment tonight at eight."

He heared a sigh from the other end of the line, followed by an angry silence.

"What appointment?", Charlie asked after she had calmed herself down.

"We're going to grab a beer with my brother Gabriel.", Castiel said extremly casual as he walked down the street towards the bus station.

"Wait, you told me that didn't have silblings!"

"I thought that too but looks like I've got four brothers."

He heard that Charlie was freaking out on the other side and smiled broadly.

"FOUR BROTHERS?!", she asked. To be honest that wasn't asking, it was screaming. Castiel had to take his phone away from his ear to avoid going deaf.

"Four brothers and a dead twin.", he laughed. "I'll explain later my bus is comming. See ya"

When Castiel hung up and got into the bus he was smiling. So much had happened in such a short time, there were things he had to think of but that wasn't possible because somehow he wasn't thinking of this family thing anymore.  
There was a picture that had crept into his thoughts. It was a picture of sparkling green eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hey ho guys, it's me again! I hope you liked the last two chapters. Just feel free to tell me what you think about the story. Sorry for my grammar (just in case it's as bad as I think it is)**

 **I hope you like the new chapter :)**

* * *

Castiel was standing outside of the bar called 'hell hounds' waiting for Gabriel and Charlie to show up. Sure it wasn't even eight yet but how was it possible that he was the only one that showed up a few minutes earlier? He sighed and looked at the time on his phone again.  
Charlie was the first one of them to show up. She came round the corner and started to run towards him the second she saw her best friend.

"Cassie!", she squeaked loudly as she opened her arms to pull him into a 'big Charlie hug'. Castiel chuckled a little when she finally let go of him after a while.

"Hey Char."

"So were is this brother of yours?", she asked, excitment glinting in her dark green eyes. Castiel laughed again.

"Guess he's not as punctual as I am."

So they spent the next five minutes waiting outside the hellhound's waiting for Gabriel. Everytime someone came round the corner Charlie got really excited, she started to jump up and down, pulling at Castiels sleeve and asking: _Is it him?_  
Castiel just chuckled about her. It was a little anoying when she was like that but after a while it got kind of funny. But then Gabriel came walking around the corner and Castiel nodded when his best friend asked again if this was Gabriel. Charlie immediatly ran towards him, pulling him into a tight welcome hug. Gabriels face should've been framed and hung up onto a wall. His eyes were wide open and his eyebrows nearly raised to his hairline. He was a little smaller than Charlie so she had to bow down a little.

Gabriel formed a _help me_ with his lips and Castiel burst out laughing. When Charlie let go of Gabe he looked up to her holding out his hand, still looking a little surprised and scared. Charlie smiled broadly shaking the offered hand.

"Pleased to meet you! I'm Charlie. Guess you're Gabriel then?"

The man that was usually rather chatty just nodded, his eyes still widened in surprise. Charlie sighed happily.

"I still can't believe that my lil' Cassie has a big brother!"

"Four actually.", Gabriel correctet her, slowly recovering from the first shock.

"Oh yeah...", Charlie chuckled, "I forgot. Big Family."

Now that Gabriel was getting calmer again he focused on his little brother. Gabe gave him a cheeky grin while walking over to him.

"Heya lil' bro.", he said while pulling out a small cover out of his pocket. "Here's the photo you asked for."

Castiel saw how Charlie raised an eyebrow, a curious smirk started to spread upon her face. He felt how his cheeks flushed red as Gabe handed him over the photo.

"So, shall we?", Gabriel asked pointing out to the bar. The two friends nodded, each of them giving Gabe a broad smile.

* * *

Much to Castiels pleasure Charlie and Gabriel got along verry well. While Castiel was slowly sipping his beer, the two of them were consuming a huge amount of drinks. Gabriel even helped Charlie to get the phone number of the short haired blonde she had been crushing on since they had entered the bar.

When Gabriel excused himself to pay a visit to the bathroom and left their table in a corner of the bar, Charlie immediatly turned to face Castiel. The curious smirk resting on her face again.

"What's on that photo Gabe gave you?", she blurted out right away.

Castiel knew it. It had been a terrible mistake to request that photo. Castiel still didn't really knew what had ridden him to do this, well actually he knew it but he still refused to admit that it was because of the green eyed man - Dean Winchester how Gabriel called him - that was still lingering in the back of Castiels mind.

"N-Nothing... uhm just uh Jimmy.", Castiel stuttered trying to avoid eye-contact,"I wanted to have uhm a memory of him...?"

Castiel didn't meant to make it sound like a question but it seemed like it was not his choice. Charlie raised an eyebrow as if to say: _really_? Castiel sighed. Why was he even trying to lie to her? He had known that he'd fail anyways.

"You're kidding! A memory of your _twin_ brother? If you'd want to remember how he looked like look into the mirror for gods sake! So: Why did you actually want the photo?"

"Fine. Theres this guy on this photo who Jimmy had been dating when they were in spain last year and I kinda liked the picture so uh... I asked Gabe if he'd mind copying it for me."

A broad smile of satisfaction was making it's way to her face when she wiggled her eyebrows.

"Show me the photo!", she resquested a mischievous glimmer lightening up her eyes. Castiels eyes widened.

"What?! No! Char-"

"Oh c'mon Cassie!", she whined rolling her eyes.

Castiel sighed and opened up the cover that contained the photo. Taking a deep breath he handed it over to Charlie whose eyebrows raised immediatly.

"Holy shit!", she muttered, "Damn this guy is attractive! I swear if I was straight..."

Castiel sighed when he took the photo from her again, silently scolding her with a stern look.

"Cassie admit it: you think he's hot.", she sighed taking a sip of her drink.

Castiel felt the warmth creeping over his cheeks, leaving a huge blush and showing Charlie that she was right. That was the point where Gabriel returned to their table, asking what had happened while he was gone. Charlie answered with a sheepish _'nothing'._

* * *

The evening went on like it did before. When Charlie and Gabe discovered the karaoke machine - and celebrated that with a tequila-shot - Castiel decided that it was time for him to leave. Sure the two left weren't as that happy about Castiel leaving 'so early' (actually it was almost midnight), but after a while of discussing the two of them gave up and gave their attention to the karaoke-machine again. Castiel was happy that he had left the bar fast enough because Charlie was surely about to perform 'black velvet' (her favorite 'I'm drunk'- song) and he couldn't listen to that... _again._

Castiel made his way down to his city apartment, relieved to be alone again. Sure he liked Gabe and Char but sometimes he just felt a little anxious when he went some place crowded. When he opened the door to his apartment he was immediatly greeted by Bee who had been waiting for him since he went out. With a soft smile Castiel picked her up from the floor and held her inside his arms while closing the door. With a pleased purr the ginger cat snuggled against his chest. Castiel quickly got rid of his trenchcoat in order to sit down on his armchair immediatly. After a while of just sitting there while stroking through Bees fur he took out the photo again for reasons he couldn't explain. His eyes were focused on the vivid green eyes that were crinkled in a smile, the tanned skin and the freckles that seemed so alive even if they were just millions of dotts printed onto paper. Completely in trance he fondly shoved Bee aside replacing her with his laptop.

The first thing that caught Castiels eyes when he looked for 'Dean Winchester' was a web link titled: **Singer autos** **  
**It was a car garage, somewhere in Kansas. As he looked closely he saw that the owners were named: Bobby Singer and... Dean Winchester. Castiel smiled a little.  
 _Well that was easy,_ he thought as he looked up the link. He had absolutely no idea why he was even doing this. It was crazy and totally stupid, but the last time he did something as that weird he ended up having four older brothers, a mother and a dead twin, so it couldn't be as that bad.  
The car garrage was in Lawrence, Kansas, not far away from the station. Castiel bit his lip. That was probably not a good idea, but in that second all he could think of was how fast he could be in Kansas if he'd take the first train that leaves in the morning...


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hola mishamigos. I want to thank you so so so much for the support!**

 **I hope you all like the new chapter!**

* * *

Castiel never took a day off of work. Not because he didn't want to, but because he had no idea with who he could spend it with. But before Castiel had got onto the train he had called his boss and took a week off. It was not like he wanted to stay as that long, he just wanted to say hello and maybe stay for a hour or two. It was just to make sure that ... okay maybe he wanted to stay for a little longer.

He was sitting in the morning train to Lawrence, when his handy played the Harry Potter theme. _Not now,_ he thought and sighed. But he picked up anyway because he knew that Charlie'd go crazy.

"Cassie?", she groaned. Her voice sounded sleepy and he could literally _feel_ that she was rubbing her temples right know, her face spoiled because she was probably totally hung over.

"Hey Char. How's it going?", he asked quietly. Quietly because of her headache. He knew if he would have talked just a little louder Charlie would turn into a fury.

"I don't know Cassie. I woke up on Gabes couch with an empty tequila bottle in my hand and a god damned hang over... Where the hell are you Cassie?"

Castiel sighed. "I uhm... Char, I uhm I'm maybe on a train to ... Kansas?", it sounded like a question even though he wanted to make it sound confident.

"Wait wait wait ... what?! Kansas?", Charlie squealed. In the background he heard a groaning.

"Was that Gabriel?"

"Don't you try and divert me from this train to Kansas you're on! What the hell is going on?"

 _Damn, what do I do now?!_

"Char calm down, I just ... took a few days off. I told you last night remember?", he said. _Please work, please work, please work!_

It was not like that he didn't want her to know, but he knew how Charlie was. She'd call every minute to ask him questions about Dean, and for the first time Castiel wanted to be on his own with a complete stranger.

"Oh. That- that makes sence I barely remember going into that bar so... Well uhm... have fun. You said that you're on a train so uhm I guess I'd better hang up?"

"Uhm yeah you do that... bye Char."

"Bye Cassie. Call me later if you want to...", Charlie said before hanging up.

Castiel sighed and started to relax a little. He'd tell Charlie after he went to meet Dean. He probably needed to talk with someone after that, but he couldn't need Charlie freaking out about that whole thing and make him even more nervous. He looked out of the window, looking at the landscape that the train was passing. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He was actually really tired. He had spent most of the night with Char and Gabe and after that he had got himself a ticket, to make it short: he hadn't slept that much. So it didn't take him long to fall into deep sleep.

* * *

When he had gotten out of the train he first checked in at the small hotel in the city center, but after that he immediatly went to that car garage - singer cars - and asked for Dean Winchester. The man that he met there - a friendly man named Bobby - told him that Dean had his day off but gave Castiel Deans adress.

So there he was standing in front of the house where Dean Winchester, the man with the green eyes, lived. He was nervous, extremely nervous. Was he really sweating? He still had no idea why he was doing this. It wasn't like him to do something like that, he wasn't spontaneous or reckless. He usually wouldn't take a week off and do a last minute trip to Kansas just to meet a guy that he only knew from a photo (even if he looked totally stunning like Dean did). He wouldn't go to a bar with his big brother and Charlie, he wasn't like that. God damn it he thought he didn't have ANY silblings and now he had four brothers and was about to meet a guy that his twin brother dated- who his dead by the way. He just never expected his life to change like that in such a short amount of time. Yeah this was probably just a shock decision. He had heard about something like that before, some people tended to do strange stuff when something extremly shocking happened. He tried to convince himself that he didn't want to do that and that he was just here because of the troublesome last days, not because of Dean Winchester.

"Jimmy?!", he heard a voice from ahead. He looked up onto a young man. He looked younger than Castiel but was pretty damn tall. His long, shaggy, brown hair slightly fell into his hazel eyes. Castiel hadn't noticed that he had left the house he was standing in front of.

Before Castiel could answer anything the man pulled him into a hug.

"Damn it has been so so so long! I think it's a year by now? How's it going? You look great by the way!", the younger man said while pulling away again.

Castiels eyes were a little widened and he didn't know what to do now. He thought that he was Jimmy, but he wasn't! He had absolutely no idea who that guy was.

"Uhm yeah ... I uhm think it's a year now... you're right."

The younger man smiled at him. "Actually I didn't think that you'd ever come to visit us. I'm happy that you came.", then his smile grew even a little wider, "Aaaand I guess you're not only here because of me, c'mon in. Dean's probably in his room.", the younger man gave him a knowing wink and walked right back through the door. Not knowing what too do, Castiel followed him inside. He decided that he could still tell them when they had gone inside. Right?

* * *

Castiel followed the stranger into the living room, he was even more nervous than before.

"I'll go get him 'k?", the younger man asked and Castiel nodded in response, trying to give him a little smile. The man headed upstairs. When he was out of sight, Castiel ran both of his hands trough the dark mess of his hair. What the hell did he thought he was doing?! This had been a terrible mistake.

Before he could panic any more, he heard a voice from upstairs.

 _"Weren't you supposed to be at Kevin's ten minutes ago Sammy?",_ that was a new voice. It was definatly a man - Dean how Castiel supposed - and he sounded extremely sleepy.

 _"I was about to go but then I met someone and I think you might want to see him..."_ , that was the voice of the man he had met before.

 _"Fine...",_ the other man grumbled and it didn't take long until Castiel heard two pairs of feet that where approaching to him.

"Your visitor's in the living room, I'm at Kevin's if you need me.", he heard the younger man say. A groan came as response and one of the two pairs of feet continued their way to the living room.

 _Don't panic, don't panic, don't panic..._ , Castiel thought to himself, but it didn't even help the tiniest bit. Castiel tried to brace himself, but when Dean came round the corner he gasped. His eyes widened a little not looking away from Dean. His dark blonde hair was a little tousled and his eyes were nearly closed. He was wearing a black ACDC t-shirt, combined with plaid pajama pants and Castiel had to admit that - even though he was a bit annoyed and grumpy - the man looked even more stunning than on the photo.

"I don't know who Sammy let into my house but you better be important or I-", Dean didn't finish his sentence because his eyes opened just wide enough for him to see Castiel. The annoyance in his expression vanished immediatly and the barely opened eyes of his literally flew open. There was this slight smile that appeared on the mans face that made him even more beautiful.

"Jimmy?!"


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hey there guys! How's it going?**

 **I hope you like the new chapter ;)**

* * *

Castiel wasn't able to say anything for a while, still stunned by the man in front of him. He didn't even really notice that Dean called him Jimmy.

"I've missed you.", Dean said while the probably cutest smile Castiel had ever seen took place on Deans face. Castiel couldn't help but smile back. Was he stareing? He had to say something. Quick, say something... anything.

"I- uhm ... I - I've missed you too...", he stuttered.

 _Damn it._

He really wanted to tell Dean about the thing with Jimmy, but somehow he wasn't able to form the right words. He wasn't able to do _anything_. His eyes were still laying on Dean, eyeing up every single detail of his face. He was trying to memorize the smile that Dean was giving him, saving it for bad times, to have something beatiful to think of. He was too focused on the small crinkles around Deans eyes that the smile on his lips aroused, to notice that the taller man came up to him, pulling him into a tight hug.

For a while Castiel had no idea what to do but then he dug his face into Deans shoulder and slightly took in the heavenly scent that had hit him when Dean had started to hug him. It smelled like applepie and colonge, it made Castiel smile. Dean leaned his head against Castiels as the smaller man hugged him back. Castiel could feel Deans breath slightly brushing his cheeks wich caused him goose bumps.

"Why didn't you ever call?", Dean whispered into his ear. Castiel wanted to tell Dean everything about what happened to Jimmy, Dean deserved to know, but he didn't get up the nerve to do it.

"I don't know...", he sighed, his voice a Little shaky.

So Jimmy didn't call him? Why? Dean was gorgeous, as far as Castiel could tell.

Dean pulled away, trying to cover his slight blush with a cheeky smile.

"You're here right? That's all that matters...", Dean said with a hopeful tone in his voice.

Castiel gave Dean a small smile and nodded, showing the other man that he agreed. What had he done?! He hadn't even spent a single thought about what to do when he was actually at Deans house. And now look what it got him! He was in Lawrence in the house of someone he didn't know and on top of it all: this someone was not only totally stunning, he also thought that he was his twin brother. And Castiel, as shy and anxious as he was, didn't have the courage to tell Dean the truth.

Dean beamed at him and Castiel felt his knees go weak.

"We have a lot to talk about, but I have a better idea than discussing all of this in my living room while I'm in my pajamas.", Dean said while slowly letting go of Castiel. Castiel tried to hide the small trace of disappointment with a smile, he wouldn't have mind if Dean had held him a little longer. "What do you think about going to the roadhouse, in two hours? I'm going to need a little time to make myself look a little less shitty, but then you could come here again and we'll go."

"You don't look shitty Dean. You look gorgeous...", Castiel blurted out. He quickly bit his tongue to stop himself from saying anything that was even more embarrassing. He quickly looked down at his shoes, trying to hide the bright blush on his cheeks. But to his surprise Dean just chuckled.

"Wow you're stil as charming as back then."

Castiel looked up to Dean who was smiling at him with a gentle look in his green eyes. "So what do you say?"

"I- I think it's a g-good idea", Castiel stuttered trying to form the right words in time.

The smile on Deans face grew even wider - if that was even possible.

"Great! I don't want to kick you out but I _n_ _eed_ a shower.", Dean said with a joking tone in his voice.

Castiel smiled a little and nodded.

"Okay I guess you find the way to the door so uhm..."

Deans eyes were stareing right into Castiels - wich gave Castiel chills by the way -, but then they were drifting off focusing on something else. Dean was looking at his lips. Was he actually thinking about kissing him goodbye?! No, he was not thinking about kissing him, he was thinking about kissing Jimmy. There was a sting in Castiels heart, this strange aching feeling you get when your crush talks to someone else.

 _Shut up_ , he thought to himself, _he's not your crush, you are not thirteen years old anymore and you have to tell him that you're not Jimmy!_

He was dragged out of his thoughts by Dean leaning in, his lips brushing his left cheek. Dean leasted like that for one second or two, making Castiel loose control of his breath. Then Dean pulled back - a soft smile playing around his lips.

"See you later Jimmy.", he said quietly, before stepping aside a little.

Castiel nodded, wide eyed and with burning cheeks- especially the one that Dean had kissed - and made his way through the living room to the hallway and out of the door. When the door was closed behind him he immediatly let out a breath that he had no idea he was holding. He ran a hand through his dark mess of hair and sighed, before burrying his face in his hands.

"Damn it, damn it, damn it!", he groaned. With a sigh he grabbed his phone and walked through the yard towards the street. He needed Charlie right now, he needed her advice.

* * *

"CASSIE WHAT THE HELL DID YOU THINK YOU WHERE DOING?!", Charlie yelled. Castiel had to put his phone away from his ear so that he wouldn't go deaf. He had told her exactly what happened and where he was, while he was walking back to the motel room. Castiel had known what would follow: the three stages of a pissed off Charlie.

Stage 1: silence.  
When you tell her something like that she'll go completely quiet, you wont even hear her breathing.

Stage 2: babbling  
When she starts talking again she'll laugh, call you ridiculous and babble a lot of irrelevant stuff. When it happened for the first time, Castiel thought that it was a good sign but don't be as stupid as he was, it was not. Defenatly _not._

Stage 3: pure rage  
She'll yell at you and abuse you until you're on the ground.

Castiel had just reached stage three.

"Char listen I-"

"OH NO _YOU_ LISTEN TO _ME!_ YOU LIED TO ME ABOUT WHERE YOU ARE AND YOU LIED TO THAT POOR BASTARD ABOUT _WHO_ YOU ARE! YOU'RE GOING STRAIGHT BACK HOME SO I CAN PUNCH YOU IN YOUR GOD DAMNED FACE!"

Castiel sighed. Yup she was totally furious.

"Char, hey calm down-"

She cut off his word again.

"NO, NO, NO! I'M _NOT_ DONE WITH YOU! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU LATELY?!"

Castiel sighed again. That was the question he was thinking about all the time ever since he had gotten onto that train to Kansas.

"Char I-"

" _NOT DONE!"_

Castiel bit his lip. Note to myself: _don't interrupt Charlie when on stage three._

"WHAT DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING?!", she asked again, "DID YOU EVER, _EVER, **EVER,**_ THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU DO TO THAT DEAN GUY? HE'LL BE A TOTAL MESS IF HE EVER FINDS OUT AND _YOU'RE_ GONNA DIE BECAUSE ON THAT PHOTO YOU SHOWED ME HE SEEMED PRETTY MUSCULAR. AND TO BE HONEST: YOU DESERVE IT!"

Castiel sighed. She was right, as always. Now Charlie sighed a little too before clearing her throat.

"Ehm sorry. Needed too yell at you a little after that. Cassie you have to tell him, he seems to be a nice guy he deserves better..."

Now that Charlie seemed to calm down again Castiel dared to say something.

"I know Char I just... he was so sweet and so... so beatiful and ... I- I kind of blanked off... ", he said and somehow his voice got a little dreamy when he talked about Dean. "Did I really say that he was beatiful?!"

"I know why you didn't tell him.", Charlie said, in a slightly better mood, "You're crushing on that guy."

Castiel wanted to protest but then he thought about it a little longer and had to admit that again Charlie was right.

"I am right am I?", she asked.

Castiel nodded.

"I know that you just nodded Cassie."

Castiel chuckled a little but got serious again almost immediatly, this woman was impossible. She made him laugh everytime, no matter what and sometimes it was terrible. "What do I do...?"

"You have three options. Option one: you tell him and leave. Option two: you don't tell him and better loose my number. Option three: you tell him and stay- wich would be not a good idea I think."

Castiel swallowed hard and opened his hotel room. He looked at the closed suitcase that was still laying on his bed, he hadn't opened it yet because he went straight to Deans when he arrived.

"Thanks Char... I think I - ... option one sounds good to me.", he mumbled halfhearted, "I think I needed someone to kick my ass, so uhm... I'll call you later 'k?"

"You're doing the right thing Cassie. You know that you can call me anytime right?"

"Yeah"

"Okay... love ya Cassie. Bye..."

"Bye..."

Then there was this familiar clicking noise that announced that the line was empty again. Castiel sighed and tossed his phone onto his bed, before Walking towards the bathroom. He needed a shower. Immediatly.

* * *

"Dean, I'm not ... I- I'm not J- Jimmy ...I", he stuttered as he stared at the small piece of crinkled paper and felt his palms go sweaty. "Damn it!", he sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. He couldn't even tell his reflection that he wasn't Jimmy and that he had lied- well he didn't really lie he just didn't say anything- about who he was. He couldn't tell Dean... he just knew that he wouldn't be able to do it. He just had to think about Dean, he would probably never - _never_ \- talk to Castiel again, no way.  
He sighed. He wanted to talk to Dean again why, wasn't it time to pick him up already? A look at the clock told him that there was still half a hour left.

 _Great,_ he thought. His still a little wet hair was a mess- as always -, he still hadn't decided what to wear and the only thing he had managed to do so far was to write down a crappy speech about Jimmy and him and this whole weird thing. He was so _so_ screwed...

In the end he stood in front of his mirror again, still trying to fix his hair. He had decided to put on a casual, white shirt - still failing at the part with his tie, why was he even trying? Anyways, he had to go now. He quickly grabbed his 'speech' and got out of the room as fast as possible.

He literally flew down the stairs, always taking two steps instead of one...


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Heyho guys! Here's your weekly chapter I hope you like it :)**

* * *

Castiel nearly _ran_ to over to Deans house, not wanting to wait any longer. He couldn't explain it to himself, he had never felt something like this. Sure he had had a few dates before but he had never been as that excited.

 _This is not a date, calm down!_ , he told himself. But there were those nasty butterflies flying around in his stomach that told him something else.

Soon he found himself standing in front of Deans house again. He took a deep breath and pressed the button of the doorbell. He heard the steps coming up to the door seconds before someone opened it. It was the younger boy, Sammy how Dean had called him. The taller man gave him a bright grin.

"Jimmy hey! About time you came, Dean is going crazy in here!"

Castiel smiled, the butterflies in his stomach starting to take flight again. So Dean was as nervous as he was?

"Come in he is probably changing right now for the ...", he paused and cocked an eyebrow as if he was thinking about something really hard, "... third? Fourth time?"

Castiel chuckled and the fact that Dean had changed multiple times just for him made him blush, the red crept up his neck and started to spread all over his cheeks. He quickly looked down, trying to hide it but he saw the younger boy smirking in the corner of his eye.

 _Stop that!_ , he scolded himself, _Dean's not dressing up for you, he's dressing up for him. For Jimmy. You're not Jimmy remember?! You're gonna tell him! As soon as you two are at this restaurant or bar or wherever you are going you're gonna tell him!_

Castiel bit his lip and tried to stay focused. His inner voice was right. So he finallly looked up again and stepped inside barely noticing the bright smile on the face of Deans brother as he did so. He stopped in the doorway as he waited for Dean. And then he heard someone walking down the stairs.

"Sam I tried the green one do -", Dean stopped in the middle of the sentence because he spotted Castiel. Both of them stared at the other one with wide eyes.

Dean looked totally stunning. His sandy blonde hair was a little tousled - but on purpose -, he was wearing slightly ripped jeans and on top of it all a dark green flannel shirt. It was matching his green eyes perfectly and literally made them shine even brighter. All of it together was just breathtaking. But when Castiel was finally able to breath normal again he saw that Dean was struggling to catch a breath too. He heard how Sam laughed.

"You two are cute.", he chuckled but then serious again, "It's disgusting."

Castiel smiled shyly and looked away. Dean walked down the last few steps and soon stood in front of Castiel.

"So uhm... you ready?"

Castiel just nodded slowy looking up at Dean but still trying to avoid the stare of his green eyes.

"Hey Jimmy," Deans and Castiels heads turned around in unision, "How's Gabe doing?", there was a broad grin on Sam's face. Castiel cocked his head a little and looked to Dean who had huffed after the question.

"Gabriel is fine. Why did you ask?"

Sam chuckled and Dean groaned. "C'mon Jimmy let's go ..."

Castiel looked at Sam and then at Dean with a slight frown while being pulled out of the door. As soon as they were standing outside Castiel gave Dean a confused look. Dean just rolled his eyes. "What?! I'm still not a big fan of our brothers being _a thing._ ", Dean said his voice full of disgust.

Castiels eyes widened a little but he tried to hide his surprise. So Sam and Gabriel? Huh, that was strange.

He followed Dean towards a black car.

"So, this is my Baby! Isn't she a beauty?", Dean asked with a bright smile on his face. Castiel looked from Dean to the car and back again, yes it was a beautiful car but not as beatiful as the one who was standing right next to it. Castiel smiled a little and then nodded. Deans smile only grew brighter, as he nodded him over to get in the car.

* * *

It wasn't a long drive until they arrived at the 'roadhouse'. It reminded Castiel a little of a saloon in those old western movies that his father had always watched with him. When they went inside they were immediatly greeted by a young blonde who ran towards Dean and pulled him into a hug before he could stop her.

"Dean! You have a phone, use it god damnit!", she mummbled against his chest. Castiel gave Dean a puzzled look. Dean himself was laughing, but looked a little nervous.

"Jo, c'mon let me go!", he said as he pushed the girl a little.

She sighed. "Yeah yeah fine but would it hurt you to call once or twice? Just to tell us that you're okay, or come around here a little more often?"

"No, but please could you just stop embarassing me...?", Dean nodded towards Castiel a little and the slight blush that had crept up his cheeks was obvious.

The girl - Jo - grinned broadly as her eyes wandered over to Castiel. He felt himself go red as she examined him thoroughly. After a while she looked at Dean again with a grin that literally screamed _'thumbs up'._ Dean gave her a scolding look but she just wiggled her eyebrows a little.

"Why don't you two go sit at the table in the corner over there, very quiet, very -", she gave them a knowing look, "romantic."

Dean continued to stare glare at her but quickly started to pull Castiel towards the corner.

"I'll take your orders soon!", she yelled towards them in a happy sing-song voice. Dean rolled his eyes.

"Sorry about Jo she's uhm ... she's like the annoying little sister I never wanted.", he said nervously rubbing his neck. Castiel smiled shyly hoping that the slight blush had removed from his cheeks by now.

"No it's okay ... she- she seems nice."

"I'm glad you like her.", Dean smiled while sitting down.

Castiel sat down across from Dean, clinging his jacket onto the chair. As soon as they both were comfortable Dean leaned over the table a little.

"So, what happened last year?"

Castiel swallowed hard. That was his cue.

"Dean I... I have to tell you something...", he said in a low voice nervously trying to fish the small piece of paper he had written his _'speech'_ on.

Deans expression dropped immediatly and Castiel saw how every colour left his face.

"Oh god I- ", Dean sighed, "I'm such an idiot. Oh god why didn't you tell me?"

Castiel frowned a little confused. "What?"

"You have a new boyfriend right? Oh god ...", Dean said and rubbed a hand over his face. Castiel started to laugh all of a sudden, he didn't know why he was just so, so nervous. Dean shot him a puzzled look.

"I don't have a boyfriend Dean."

Deans face lit up again almost immediatly. "Really?"

Castiel nodded and smiled a little.

"So what's it then?", the men opposite him asked. He looked at the paper in his again.

"I uh-"

"Hey guys! You have any idea what you want to eat by now?", Jo interrupted him. Thank god!

Dean looked at her a little huffish but answered anyway. "I'll just take the usual. Jim?"

Castiel looked from Dean to Jo and back again. "Oh I uh... I'll just take whatever Dean takes...", he muttered a little moony.

"Kk' I'll be back with the food later.", Jo said with a smile and slightly waved at them before disappearing. Dean looked at Castiel again.

"So what did you want to tell me Jimmy?"

Castiel looked at the note again and crushed it in his hand.

"I'm not Jimmy."

Dean laughed. "Yeah okay, ha ha, was that all?"

"Dean, it's true. I'm not Jimmy. He...", Castiel paused as he saw how Deans smile was slowly fading.

"He's dead."

Deans jaw dropped and his face went colourless again. "No.", he whispered looking a little terrified. "No that's not possible."

Castiel bit his lip and looked at his hands, wanting to turn back the time so that this never happened. So that he never would have read the article about Jimmy.

"Oh god...", Dean sighed. Castiel saw tears shining in Deans eyes.

"How is that even possible?! Who the hell are you?", Dean didn't sound shocked anymore. He was upset.

Castiel swallowed hard. "He- he was my ... my twin brother. I found out about it when- when I ... I saw an article about him. He g-got struck by a lightning..."

Dean looked so unbelievable sad that Castiel felt his heart break in two halves.

"Oh god...", Dean whispered again. "I- I have to get out of here!", with those words he got up and gripped his jacket.

"Dean-"

"No!"

He turned around and stormed out of the local almost running into Jo who was holding the ordered food on a tablet in her hands. Castiel was left alone in the restaurant, a tear slowly running down his cheeks.

* * *

 **Okay before you yell at me because this is a stupid-ass** **for a chapter but this Story is not over yet, just hang on for a while ;)**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hey there guys! So this chapter contains a POV change (just as slight warning so that you wont be confused)**

 **Thanks for the reviews, favs and follows. Love you all and: BE PREPARED**

* * *

 _He looked around in the club, the colourful lights threw spots of red, orange and yellow onto the walls. It held up the whole 'summer in spain' theme, he liked it. With long steps he made his way towards the bar, approaching a stool in front of the counter. The bartender was a beautiful woman, her skin was well tanned and her black hair fell over her shoulder in shiny waves, you could say that she looked the way you imagine a woman from spain. She gave him a warm and welcoming smile as he sat down. He returned the smile before leaning in a little so that she could hear him over the loud music._

 _"Un cerveza por favor!", he yelled. He barely spoke spanish but he did know how to order a beer._

 _She nodded "Sí, un momento!", with another smile she turned away to get him a beer. He was still waiting for his drink when someone sat down next to him. He turned his head to look at whoever it was._

 _It was a man with messy black hair, slightly tanned skin and bright blue eyes that where laying on him with a mischievious spark in them. He was in fact beautiful, there was no need to deny that he felt attracted to him right away. He smiled at the stranger._

 _"Hey!", the man yelled._

 _"Hey.", he answered. The stranger looked him up, his smile only growing wider. The man didn't look away, his blue eyes fixed on him for like an eternity now. Even after the bartender had brought the beer the man didn't stop to stare at him. He couldn't help but grin. "What?"_

 _The man chuckled lightly. "Nothing I was just thinking about if it hurt when you fell from heaven?"_

 _He laughed and took a sip of his beer. "No, not actually, but I cracked a nail when I craweled out of hell."_

 _The other man threw his head back in laughter, his closed eyes crinkled a little and god damn it if that wasn't one of the most beautiful things that he had ever seen._

 _"Wow, best answer to that line I've ever recieved. Congrats!", the man said, a bright smile still lingering on his lips. "Jimmy Novak."_

 _He grinned "Dean, Dean Winchester."_

* * *

Dean shut the door closed behind him, feeling how all of the tears that he had held back for too long started to stream down his face. He ignored his brother who asked how it was from out of the living room, he just climbed the stairs and stormed into his room. He made sure that the door was locked so that Sam wouldn't walk in on him crying. The last thing he wanted was that his little brother saw how weak he was. He usually wasn't crying, he was a person that hid his feelings. He liked to keep other people thinking that he didn't have Feelings at all, he didn't want to seem weak.

As soon as he was sure that no one would see him, he collapsed to the floor, letting out a desperate sob.

Jimmy was dead, the man he loved and the man he had been waiting for a whole year was dead. He let the emotions run free and felt how the waves of pain crushed against him, tearing him apart. He curled up on the floor, pulling his knees onto his chest and wrapping his arms around them to keep himself together. He cried, sobbed and yelled. After a while he stopped, his throat was sore and his eyes burned, he started to drift off into memories that had been lingering in the back of his mind for bad days...

* * *

 _They were stroling down the pier, holding hands and looking up into the night sky. The stars were beautiful in the way they lightened the sky of dark blue up a bit. Dean looked at the silhouette of the man next to him. It was to dark to see it, but he could somehow sense that Jimmy was smiling and this was a fact that made him smile too._

 _He would never actually admit it but he fell in love, he fell fast and hard. It hadn't even taken a week. He knew that there was something about Jimmy that would be the death of him ever since he came up in that club with one of the most boring pick-up lines ever. Now there they were walking down a pier, looking at the stars, holding hands and smiling like stupid idiots._

 _They had reached the end of the pier and sat down on the edge of the wooden planks letting their feet dangle into the air above the curling water. Dean felt Jimmys gaze on him, he felt how the blue eyes of his followed even the slightest movement. Dean turned his head to lock eyes with him and the world stopped spinning for a second or two. He felt how one of Jimmys hands cupped his cheeks, his thumb drawing small circles onto the soft skin of his._

 _Dean leaned into Jimmys hand and closed his eyes, letting this enchanting feeling run through his veins._

 _"Dean?"_

 _He opened his eyes and saw the slight spark of light that Jimmys eyes always carried with them. "Yes?"_

 _"I love you."_

 _Deans heart started racing while his mind blanked out completely. He blinked a few times, the things he wanted to say got stuck in his throat together with his breath._

 _"Say something, please.", Jimmy said when Dean hadn't replied in a while. His voice was just a whisper but Dean heard the fear in it, the fear of Dean not feeling the same way. It was just to good to be true. He knew that he wasn't the guy that killed the bad guy and got the girl, he was the guy that got shot in the first five minutes of the movie because fate hates him. Fate is such a bitch._

 _Everytime something good happened to him it was taken away, and god damn it, he didn't want_ this _to end._

 _Dean cupped Jimmys face with both of his hands and pulled him into a kiss. Jimmy put his hand into Deans neck, drawing him closer. The kiss was slow and soft, comforting for both of them. Dean pulled away, slightly panting, and leaned his forehead onto Jimmy's. Taking his hands into his own and holding onto them tight to make sure that Jimmy was there and wouldn't leave him._

 _"I love you too Jimmy."_

* * *

Dean was still laying on the floor, concentrating on his breath, his chest raising and fallin far to fast. Sam had been trying to get through to him a few times, but the door was still closed and it would stay closed.

He was breathing heavily, the tears had faded long ago. He was past crying. Now he was thinking - wich was even worse.

He was thinking about the pier, the night sky and about fate. He had been more than right, fate really was a bitch. Fate made him meet Jimmy, it made him fall in love, made him wait one year for someone that would never come. And now this slut killed him. Fate killed the first _true_ love in his life. It wasn't fair.

Not fair.

It was just then when he realised that he had been thinking about Jimmy this whole year but obviously no one had been thinking about him. What if Jimmy didn't mean it when he said that he loved him? He never called or wrote him, no letter, no E-Mail not even a SMS. He wouldn't even know that he was dead if that ... whoever he was hadn't came here to tell him about it. No one had ever called, not even Gabriel. It was like someone had stabbed him and now turned around the knife in his chest. No one had thought about him. No one.

Except...

He still didn't know his name. Dean sat up a little. He hadn't thought about it, but how bad must this guy feel? Sure he hadn't told him that he wasn't Jimmy - and that was really an asshole move - but Dean had yelled at him even though this guy was the only one who had thought of him, and he didn't even know Dean.

Hadn't he said that he was Jimmys twin or something like that...?

Dean swallowed hard. _Shit._

He quickly got up from the floor, unlocked the door and ran down the stairs.

"Dean? Dean! Hey! What the hell happened?! Are you okay?!", Sam was waiting in the hallway, a big frown plastered on his face. Dean didn't even look at him when he grabbed his keys and opened the front door. He didn't want Sam to see Deans still swollen eyes.

"Yeah... yeah I'm fine just need to go for a ride ...", he said and held up the car keys before leaving the house and slamming the door shut.

* * *

 _"Promise me that you'll call.", Dean said, still not willing to let go of Jimmy._

 _The other man smiled brightly. "I'll call every day. Now go or you'll miss the plane!"_

 _Dean chuckled and leaned in to kiss the slightly smaller man goodbye. It was supposed to be a short kiss but it turned out to be a little more intense in the end. After a while Jimmy pulled away, smiling broadly - even if it didn't quite reach his eyes. Dean smiled back, but felt how his eyes started to burn. He didn't want to leave, but their plane wouldn't wait._

 _A little unwilling Dean let go of Jimmy and turned around to get Sam but it looked like he didn't want to leave either. His younger brother had pushed Gabriel against a wall and the smaller man had pulled him down. Now they were making out like some teenagers in those chick-flick movies._

 _Dean grimaced. "Guys, you're disgusting! Now get your hands off of my brother Gabriel and Sammy,"_ _He took his bag and nodded towards the taxi, "get in the car."_

 _Jimmy laughed and with a small groan Sam and Gabriel let go of eachother. Dean quickly hugged Jimmy before getting into the taxi. Sam soon got in next to him on the backseat and waved at Gabe and Jimmy._

 _When they drove away Dean allowed himself to let the tears in his eyes run down his cheeks. He took out his wallet and looked at the picture of Jimmy and him that he had taken a few days ago, Jimmy had a copy of it too._

 _"Dean? Are you crying?"_

 _"No."_

* * *

He shoved the memory aside quickly. He was driving around the town in Baby, hoping that he'd find the man he was looking for. It was a small town, but there was still a chance that he wouldn't find him. And it didn't look good. He was driving around the town for half an hour now.

He was about to give up, when he drove down the street towards the old train station and saw a familiar dark mess of hair. He drove faster without noticing it and came to stop a few feet in front of him. He quickly jumped out of the car and turned towards the man that was walking upto him.

He stared into deep blue eyes that were wide in shock.

"Hey", Dean said quietly.

"Hey", the stranger whispered back.


	8. Chapter 8

Castiel looked into Deans green eyes. They were a little swollen and his cheeks were red from all the crying. He was still wearing the nice green shirt that he wore earlier but somehow it had lost it's charm. It was not because of the shirt itself, it was because of the beaten down expression on Deans face.

Dean had cried. He had cried because of him.

This little thought made Castiel want to jump in front of a car because of all this terrible, terrible guilt. He didn't really know Dean, he just met him, but somehow he didn't want him to be hurt, especially not by himself. He should have stayed home...

"Dean... I should go. My train is coming in ten minutes...", he whispered and looked onto his feet.

The man in front of him didn't move in the slightest, he just kept staring at Castiel with those wonderful eyes, even though Castiel had broken then eye-contact.

"No.", he whispered and sounded like a child. He quickly cleared his throat.

"No, I uhm wanted to say that I'm sorry.", he said a little louder now.

Castiel sighed and shook his head a little. "Dean, I'm the one who should apologize. I'm sorry that I came here in the first place, I shouldn't have done this."

"No! No, I'm glad you came... No one thought of me. If you wouldn't have come I still wouldn't know that Jimmy ... you know. I'm glad that you thought of me, even if you don't even know me."

Castiel eventually looked up from the floor and saw the small smile Dean was giving him. Castiel smiled back, but it was just barely visible. He still felt bad for coming here out of the blue and bringing so awful news with him. He couldn't imagine how Dean felt, because even if he had had relationships before, he had never really felt what people call _true love._

"You still haven't told me your name.", Dean said after a while of depressed silence.

The other man looked up to him, blinking a few times. "M-my name...?"

Dean slightly chuckled. "Yeah your name."

"C-Castiel. My name is Castiel...", he said and the small smile got a little brighter. He nearly missed the slight flash in Deans eyes.

"Wow, interesting name... I like it.", Dean said. Castiel knew that Deans smile was probably just fake and that his kindness was just because he had yelled at him earlier, but the smile on Deans face was just sweet- he couldn't help but smile back.

Silence settled between the two of them and Castiel watched every small change in Deans expression to check if he was okay. Dean smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. Their green seemed a little darker, their vivid glint was slightly dimmed and they were still a little red.

"Dean I- I really have to go now ... I'm just making everything worse.", Castiel said quietly and passed Dean who sighed a little.

"C'mon Cas! Castiel, wait!", Dean hurried to follow him and slightly pulled at the sleeve of the trenchcoat he was wearing and forced him to stop. Castiel turned around again and gave Dean a questioning look.

"Tell me what I can do to make it up to you."

"Dean I'm not angry because you yelled at me earlier and you don't have to make anything up to me. I should be making things up to _you_! I turned up here to tell you that your boyfriend - or whatever Jimmy was to you - is dead, I - I acted like I was Jimmy because I was to afraid to tell you the truth. I dont deserve your kindness."

Dean sighed. "Cas we already had that... I deserved to know it but no one thought of me, except you."

"Dean-"

"Uh uh I'm not done with my speech yet.", Dean said and cut off Castiels word. "Of course I'm sad, hell I probably cried more than I should, and of course I'm disappointed and angry because you're not him, but I'm grateful that you told me. I mean, he's dead and you can't imagine how awful it feels now that I know it but at least someone told me. Because sometimes not-knowing is even worse than knowing... "

Dean gave him a lopsided smile, "So thank you for having the courage to tell me. And if you really, _really_ have to go, I'm gonna to say goodbye and leave. But if you have the chance to stay, then do it. I want to take you to the roadhouse again in the evening... I still owe you a burger."

Castiel slightly chuckled. Dean was just unbelievable! His smile somehow made it to make his knees go weak, _again._

"Fine. I took a week off so I think I can stay for a few more hours...", the dark haired man eventually said. "But then I'll go, okay?"

Deans smile grew wider. "K'"

* * *

Castiel returned to the hotelroom and threw himself onto the bed. Why was he doing this?

He wanted to leave and go back home, he wanted to go back to normal. He wanted to go back to when he didn't have any silblings, or dead twin brothers, he wanted to go back to when he wasn't haunted by beautiful green eyes whenever he closed his own eyes. He just wanted to sit on his couch and run his fingers through Bees fur.

The Harry Potter music theme ripped him out of his thoughts. With a sigh he fumbled his mobile phone out of the pocket of his trenchcoat.

"Hey Char.", he mumbled.

"You okay?"

"No.", he sighed and sat up a little, running a hand trough his messy hair.

"Why not what happened? Are you okay? Did he hurt you? I swear if he did something to you...!"

Charlie did it again. She always started to fire questions at him, and honestly: it was a little annoying and didn't make anything better. But hey, that's Charlie. And how could you not love her?

"Calm down I'm fine...", he mumbled a little halfhearted.

"So you're on the train back?"

"Uh ...uhm funny Story..."

"Don't."

"I mean he was just so-"

"Don't"

"Char, I couldn't-"

"Don't tell me that you stayed there."

"I couldn't say no! You should have seen him!"

He could hear a sigh from the other end. "Cassie what the hell are you trying to tell me? Please use cohesive sentences, okay? _Please._ "

"Okay well uhm... I told him the truth and he started yelling and I think he cried a lot after he disappeared and uhm... I - I was already on my way to the - to the train station and- I don't know how but, he - he somehow found me. He apologized for yelling at me and ... Oh my god! I just - I don't know... I told him that the man he loved is dead and... and he apologized! He said that he was grateful that I told him and that it was okay because he needed to know it, then he said that he wanted to take me out. _Again._ As apology... I just... how could I say no? And now he's picking me up in-", he threw a quick look at the watch on his wrist, "Two hours... "

Castiel talked and talked and Charlie suddenly got really quiet. When he was done, she still kept quiet. He already got worried when Charlie finally spoke up again.

"So you're trying to tell me that you are falling for Dean Winchester? And don't try to lie to me, because after this story I may have fallen for this guy myself!"

Castiel bit his lip. Was Charlie right? He knew that Charlie was almost always right but he wasn't quite sure if he wanted her to be right this time.

"Char... I - I'm not-"

"Yes you are. Hell you're going on a _date_ with him and you were just fangirling as fuck."

"Charlie I still don't know what 'fangirling' is and it's _not_ a date."

"Yes it is.", she said in her stubborn 'I know better'- tone.

"No."

Charlie sighed. "You're awful, you know that? Whatever! Now, get your ass under the shower and dress nice. When it's over I want details. _Details._ Understood?"

Castiel chuckled lightly.

"Yes Ma'am."

* * *

 **A/N: Shortest A/N ever:**

 **Sorry 'bout the cliffhanger, thanks for the rieviews favs 'n follows.**

 **Love y'all ;)**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hey guys , I'm not dead XD**

 **I'm so so sorry that I didn't upload the chapter last week, and sorry that there won't be a chapter next week but I'm going on a Holiday trip with my Family.**

 **Anyways, thanks for the favs and follows and to Hectatess and Tiddo-mus for reviewing the last chapter.**

* * *

Castiel stood in front of the mirror for the second time this day. He had showered like Charlie had ordered him to and was now trying to pick an outfit he could wear later. He was standing in front of the bed where he had displayed a few possibilities but had no clue what he should pick.

This called for drastic measures.

"Cassie! How nice that _you_ call _me_ for once.", the voice of his best friend giggled from across the phone line.

"Charlie that's not funny, I need your help.", Castiel groaned.

Charlie laughed. "Okay, bring it on!"

Castiel explained Charlie his problem and described all options, but none of them seemed to please Charlie.

"Stop it right there and then Castiel Lord. You ain't gonna wear any of this."

"Char-"

"Ah ah ah! Don't interrupt me.", she scolded, "Did you pack the ripped jeans I gave you to your birthday?"

Castiel frowned. "God, no! They're hidden in the depths of my closet."

"Oh c'mon Lord!", Castiel could amlost _hear_ her roll her eyes.

"Fine then we'll have to improvise. Have you any scissors or knifes... oh _and_ your shaver?"

"Charlie what...?"

"I said don't interrupt me. You got the knife? Scissors would do it too if you don't have one."

Castiel sighed and searched the room for knifes or scissors.

"Okay got it.", he said as he held up a pair of scissors.

"Great, now take the black jeans."

Castiel nodded and picked them up from the bed. "I have them...Why?"

"Because it's tight-fitting and you look gorgeous in dark colours."

"No, I mean, for what do I Need my favorite jeans, scissors and my shaver."

"Because,", Charlie said, "You dumped my ripped jeans and we gotta pimp you up."

* * *

Castiel looked at his reflection critically. Charlie had told him step by step how to rip the jeans and promised him to buy a new one as soon as he got back. He had been a Little unsure of Charlies plan but now that he was wearing the wrecked jeans, he had to admit that it Kind of suited him.

Charlie had told him to wear his white v-neck t-shirt and on top of it the black leather jacket that she had given to him on christmas, but other than the jeans he had packed the jacket.

He dialed Charlies number again, she picked up at the second ring.

"And?"

"I picked the jeans up from a washer like you said."

"No I mean how does it look like?"

"Like on the picture you sent me, my jeans - my _favorite_ jeans is now succsessfully wrecked."

Charlie groaned, "Yeah, yeah I'll buy a new one, but what I mean is how do _you_ like?"

Castiel sighed and quickly took a picture he could send to Charlie.

"Oh wow. I knew you'd look good but damn! This Dean is a lucky man."

Castiels brow furrowed. "So you think I look okay?"

Charlie just laughed.

"What?"

"Nothing. Just- Just go get him tiger."

Before Cas could say something else Charlie was gone and the line was empty. Castiel sighed and put his phone back into his pocket.

He was about to do something about the mess of dark hair that seemed to be even more rebellious today than on any other given day, when there was a knock on the door. Castiels eyes widened and he quickly ran his hands through the curly hair, hoping that it would do as told- for once. There was another knock on the door. Castiel silently mumbled a few curses as he gave up his hair and ran over to the door. He quickly opened it.

"I'm sorry I -", he broke off in the middle of the sentence when he found himself in front of an extremely good looking Dean. His dark blonde hair was a little messy, but on purpose - not like Castiels own hair. His face looked now completely normal again, not red, not swollen. Well he didn't look normal, he looked gorgeous. He was wearing a black, perfectly fitting t-shirt and a gorgeous dark red flannel shirt, not to talk about the tight-fitting jeans he was wearing.

Castiels mouth opened and closed a few times before he finally got it together.

"Dean you - you look good.", he stammered absently. Dean seemed like he didn't even hear Castiels words. His green eyes had darkened a little as they were looking Castiel up and down. Dean was looking at him for a while now and it somehow got a little awkward.

"I- Sorry. You- ready?", Dean stuttered and his cheeks flushed slightly. Castiel smiled shyly and nodded. Dean smiled aswell and turned around to walk down the hall and leave the building. Castiel locked his room and followed Dean.

They walked out onto the street towards Deans car. Dean opened the passengerseat door for Castiel. With a surprised 'thank you' the dark haired man got in. He watched Dean walk around the car to the drivers seat.

He was so screwed.

* * *

Castiel recognized a few of the streets they were driving through on their way to the Roadhouse. He occasionally looked over to Dean, his apple green eyes fixed onto the road.

"Well Cas - I mean Castiel ... may I call you Cas?", Dean asked. He sounded a little nervous. Castiel smiled. Cas. He liked that, it sounded nearly as twice as good as the nickname Charlie had given him. _Plus_ it came from Dean. Everything sounded so much better when Dean said it.

Castiel tried to get rid of the thought as fast as possible. "Yes of Course you can..."

Cas...

Sounds nice.

Dean smiled broadly and looked at the man on the passenger seat. "Cool. Well _Cas,_ I wanted to tell you that you look good- well rather stunning - tonight."

Castiel felt heat rush into his cheeks and looked away quickly.

"Thank you Dean... Charlie checked my outfit and she assured me that I look good in this clothes. I'm glad that you think so aswell."

Out of the corner of his eye Castiel saw Dean tense a little when he mentioned Charlie.

"So uhm, this Charlie... she your girlfriend?", Dean asked, acting as if he didn't really care.

Cas turned to look at him again and couldn't help but laugh. Deans brow furrowed, wich only made Castiel laugh more.

"Charlie- she , she's my best friend.", Castiel said as he calmed down again. "God I could never be - ", he broke out in laughter again.

Dean sighed relieved and the broad smile from earlier took over again. "So you don't have a girlfriend then?"

Castiel shook his head, "No haven't had a _girlfriend_ ever. Not really my area. But currently I don't have a boyfriend either."

Dean looked at him once more before turning to the road again. Castiel could have sworn that he had seen something like hope sparkling in those emerald eyes, but he surely was mistaken.

* * *

They arrived at the Roadhouse just minutes later. When they entered Jo gave them an odd look but Dean waved her off with a quick 'I'll explain it later'. They sat down on a table in a quiet corner and ordered the same things they had ordered earlier.

"Okay this silence is awful", Dean said after a while of silence and leaned back in his chair. "Let's do some 'first-date smalltalk'."

Cas' eyes grew wider and his cheeks flushed red in an instant. "D-Date?"

Deans eyes widened aswell as he realised what he just had said. He looked down and rubbed his neck nervously.

"I uh - uhm I... uh ... damnit!", Dean stuttered, "Sorry I uh... I just thought that this was... a ... "

"Date?", Castiel finished the sentence. Dean slightly looked up and Cas could see the bright redness on his cheeks, his green eyes sparkling shyly - it was fucking adorable.

"Y-Yes.", Dean mumbled and looked down again.

Cas smiled softly and tilted his head to the side. "I'd be happy to call this a date Dean."

Deans head shot up and a broad grin spread across his face.

"Really?!", he asked surprised but then he cleared his throat and leaned back, "Yeah of course you'd be happy I mean, look at that face."

Cas started to laugh as Dean pointed at himself with a smug smirk. Dean smiled at the man in front of him and barely stopped himself from saying other stupid things.

They launched into relaxed smalltalk, telling eachother things about themselves and exchanging funny little stories. Jo brought them their food and the two beers they'd ordered, eyeing the two of them up with a broad grin. Cas blushed lightly and sunk down in his chair on wich Dean gave her a scolding look. She laughed and left with a quick 'enjoy your meal'.

Dean gave Cas an apologetic look. "Sorry about Jo again."

Cas just shook his head. "It's okay Dean."

The blonde man smiled at him and took a sip of his beer. "C'mon try it. Those burgers are literally heaven!"

Cas chuckled at Dean and picked up the burger. Dean waggled his eyebrows at him as he took a generous bite of the burger. Cas' eyes fluttered close and a quiet moan slipped from his lips.

Dean started to laugh and slightly shook his head.

"Sorry... this burger is just...", Castiel mumbled and dug into the burger again.

Dean smiled gently, "No problem Cas. Told ya that Ellens burgers are the best."

Cas opened his eyes again and he gave Dean a genuine smile. They locked eyes and there was this brief moment when both of them felt something click in their heads. Castiel looked away shyly but Deans gaze lingered at him a little longer.

It was just like with Jimmy, but so different at the same time. And faster. Much faster.

Jimmy had stolen Deans heart after two, maybe three days, but Castiel? Castiel what was left of his heart the moment he opened that motel door in those ripped jeans, eyes shining and smiling.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hey there again guys, look who's back!**

 **Sorry for the long wait but I just didn't make it sooner. Well anyways, here you go!**

* * *

They spent the whole evening in the road house and by the time they finally left it was already past 1 am - Ellen and Jo had given them a little extra time. Dean had had enough beers to make him unable to drive and since Cas didn't have a driving licence they had no other choice but to _walk_ back.

The two of them walked - well Dean rather stumbled- on a small path next to the road, continueing their conversations from the roadhouse. While they talked Dean smiled almost all the time Cas liked it to see him smile, it made his eyes shine and his beatiful face light up even more - sometimes he couldn't help but stare. It reminded him of the picture on wich he had seen the green-eyed for the first time, the one he took with - ... with Jimmy.

After a while of walking Dean started to laugh. Cas cocked his head to the side a little confused, neither of them had said something so why was he laughing?

"What's so funny?", he asked with a small smile on his lips.

Dean laughed again and when he spoke his words slurred a little, "Nothing just... still not over the whole thing with your name."

Cas chuckled lightly, "Come on it's not _that_ funny."

"Yes it is!", Dean said with a broad grin. "I mean: Your name is Castiel, that's an angels name and your last name is Lord, how's that even coincidence? I mean- ", he burst out laughing as if he just thought of something very funny, "Dude, your _literally_ an angel of the lord!"

Castiel shook his head and giggled a little, "And you don't even know the best part."

Dean stopped and grabbed Cas' arm to make him stop aswell. When Cas turned to Dean to ask why he wasn't walking on he saw Deans eyes - wich were nearly black in the faint moonlight - were gleaming with curiosity. "Is there something you haven't told me Mr. Lord?", he asked in a voice that send shivers down Cas' spine.

"Uh uhm I well-", Cas stuttered suddenly unsure of what to say. Dean laughed sweetly.

"C'mon you're gonna have to tell me now you know? Don't ever begin a sentence with, 'you don't even know -' in my presence."

Cas sighed and shook his head, "Okay well uhm... remember when you showed me your Tattoo?", Castiel made a little gesture towards Deans collarbone where his Shirt hid the small pentagram - though some of the thin black flames that surrounded the circle were gleaming through his collar. Dean nodded.

"And you asked me if I had any tattoos aswell, and I hasitated but said no?"

Again Dean nodded. Castiel bit his lip. "Well that uhm wasn't quite the truth."

Dean cocked an eyebrow and laughed, " 'Not quite the truth?', so you have one?"

"Charlie talked me into it and to be honest I kinda like them ...", Cas mumbled and rubbed the back of his neck. When he looked up at Dean he saw the curiosity in his eyes shine even brighter than before.

"What Tattoo Castiel?", he asked and again his voice made Cas feel all dizzy and tingly at the same time - let alone that Dean had called him by his full name and not his nickname.

"I have a wing Tattoo."

Castiel watched every single change in Deans expression, how his eyes widened in surprise and how this Goofy grin of his started to spread all over his face to make his nose crinkle and his eyes shine.

"So let me get this right, you - you're an angel of the lord - with _wings_?!", he laughed.

Castiel slightly smiled and shook his head, "No Dean I'm not, I'm a human just like any other and _you_ had way too many Drinks."

Dean groaned and started to walk again, forcing Cas to follow him because he was still holding the sleeve of his jacket. "Yes you are and no I haven't. Now say it."

Cas furrowed his brow. "Say what?"

"Say that you're an angel of the lord!", Dean said and sounded so childish that Cas couldn't help but laugh at him.

"Okay, fine!", he slightly cleared his throat, "I'm an angel of the lord.", he eventually said and made his voice sound extra deep.

Dean laughed out in joy. "You know what I kinda like that angel-thing. And dude, you gotta show me this Tattoo right now because wings sound pretty damn gorgeous."

Castiel felt heat rush into his face. "Uh Dean... I can't."

"What do you mean with 'you can't'?", Dean laughed and gave him a daring look.

"They're on my back ...", Castiel mumbled and looked down to his feet.

"Oh.", was everything Dean replied to that. They settled into silence for the rest of their walk.

* * *

Eventually the two of them arrived at Castiels hotel. Dean - quite the gentleman - demanded on walking Cas all the way to his room.

"Well then... it was a very nice evening.", Castiel said as they stood infront of his rooms door.

Dean smiled sweetly, "Yes I think so too..."

This smile of his made Cas feel warm and his knees go weak, he tried to remain in controle of his own body but he wasn't quite able to do so aswell.

"You know I'd still like to see this tattoo of yours.", Dean said, his voice not more than a whisper. Castiel felt his cheeks heat up in an instant, but he wasn't able to turn his head away from Dean, whose green eyes seemed to hypnotize him, making him unable to think.

"Good thing I took a _week_ off not only one day.", he whispered absently.

"Yeah good thing."

Cas could hardly breathe. Deans face was just inches away and this smell of collogne and applepie made him feel dizzy. Those shining orbs of vivid green stared into his own. Time seemed to stop, as if the earth stopped spinning. Cas felt himself drown in this green, dreaming of soft, pink lips and tanned Skin.

"G'night angel.", Dean whispered after what felt like hours. Castiel could feel Deans breath brush his face.

"Dean, I'm not an angel."

Dean sighed a little, "Yeah, well I chose this to be your nickname."

"But you've already given me a nickname...", Cas frowned.

The other man pinched the back of his nose. "Yeah but People can have more nicknames."

"Dean, you sound upset, did I do something wrong?"

"No! No. Just ... I mean - it kinda ruined the moment.", Dean said with a small sigh.

"The moment?", Castiel couldn't help but chuckle.

"Hey! That's not funny!", Dean scolded. "It's not like I planned this okay? But I thought I would say 'goodnight angel' and than you'd say 'goodnight Dean' and than I'd lean in and- and kiss you and it would be perfect! But now that the moment is over and uh I don't quite know what to do..." , Dean said and gestured wildly, Castiel could see the small hint of panic in his eyes.

"I mean it's okay! Totally okay uhm probably I just - ... I wouldn't have dared to kiss you anyway I think I- would that ... would you - I uhm... You felt that too right? This strange I Tension, so I thought ... Or maybe I just had too much drinks - like you said. Wait no! No, I'm not drunk I - if I was drunk I'd know it. And -", Dean stuttered but was silenced when Castiel got on his tiptoes and placed a kiss onto his cheek. He leaned back to see two green eyes staring looking at him in surprise.

"Goodnight Dean.", he said with a tender smile.

Dean smiled broadly and flushed a little. "Yeah I kinda imagined it like that.", he said quietly before he turned around to leave. Cas watched him walk away, every now and then Dean would look back at him.

"Bye Dean!", he said and waved quickly before Dean turned into one of the other corridors and he wasn't able to see him anymore.

He sighed a little. He was so god damn screwed.


	11. Chapter 11

Dean didn't sleep well that night. He often had nightmares, but tonight was especially awful.

All of the memories he had from the trip to spain last summer blended with the things he did with Castiel that day. It was a terrible mix of Jimmy and Castiel and soon he couldn't even remember who was who. Everything he saw was their face, their movements, their sad smile when he got into the taxi to leave for the Airport.  
It was like they were one person, it was like they both left him behind, it was like they had both hadn't called him back, like they both died.

When Dean finally could escape this hell he found himself in his bed. He was sweating and crying. He rubbed a hand over his damp forehead and let out a choked sob. That was not fair.

He tried to think about all the nice things he had done with Castiel today, about their conversations and the walk home, but everytime he saw Castiels face, he just saw Jimmy in it.

* * *

Castiel got up late. He had spent half the night with telling Charlie every single detail about his date with Dean and his ears were still ringing after her permanent sqealing. With a yawn he rolled over onto his stomach to pick up his phone from the nightstand.

It was nearly twelve, but that was not a problem. Last night he had decided to stay the whole week so he didn't need to get to any trains in time. When he checked the time he noticed that he had a few new messages.

One of Charlie and two from... from Dean.

 _9:03: Mornin Cas it's me Dean. Could you come over when you get this message? It's important._

 _11:23: Cas?_

Castiel swallowed thickly. What could Dean want to talk about with him? And why was it so important?

He cursed himself for sleeping so long. He hastily got out of bad and grabbed his phone and keys, he was still wearing the things from last night. He had been so tired that he had just fallen into bed when he was done talking to Charlie.

While leaving the building he wrote Dean a quick reply.

 _12:05: Sorry slept too long, on my way, Cas._

With quick steps he made his way through the small town to the Winchesters house. The nervousness made his palms go cold and sweaty. What was wrong...? He was already halfway cross the yard when he saw Dean sitting on the stairs that were leading up to the door.

"Dean! You wanted to talk?", he said quietly and slowed down a little.

Dean looked up and his face paled even more. He looked weak and tired, his skin was strangely grey and he had bags under his eyes as if he hadn't slept all night. His green eyes were as pale as his skin and looked terribly dull.

"Dean are you okay? You look sick, did you catch a cold last night?", he asked a little anxious. He took a few steps closer and saw how Dean winced at his voice. Castiel frowned. "Dean, what's wrong?"

Dean looked down at his hands again as if he couldn't stand looking at him too long. The dark haired man started to panic. What had happened? Why was he like that?

"Cas I...", Dean said, his voice barely a whisper. "... I can't."

Just two words, but Castiel knew exactly what he meant. For a second he thought his knees would give in or that he would loose it and burst out crying, but nothing happened. He just froze, not able to move. And was pretty damn thankful for that.

What had he thought when he came here? What had he thought when Dean had talked about kissing him last night? What had he hoped for? He was such a fool!

"I ... I want to, god I want to so bad but...", Deans voice broke again. "I see him everytime I look at you. I want it to be you but ... it's him I see."

Castiel still wasn't able to move. He couldn't speak nor could he breathe, the only thing he could was think about how stupid he had been. Not only was it painful for him, it was painful for Dean. He had been acting so selfish!

"When I hear your voice I can hear him say it... 'I'll call everyday'. He never did. I waited, every day I sat beside the phone and waited for it to ring.", Dean shook his head. "Do you have any idea how that feels like? And now he's dead.", he sighed. "I don't know what's worse..."

Castiel wanted to apologize, he wanted to tell Dean how sorry he was, that all of this was his fault and that he should have stayed home, that he was going to go and everything would be fine, but he couldn't. It got stuck in his throat.

Dean looked up at Castiel his pale green eyes glinting with tears. "The worst thing of it all is that you're so different. You're everything he wasn't. I loved every second we spent together yesterday but now all I can see is Jimmy... it feels like you could disappear every second and I wouldn't ever hear from you again."

"Dean I'm so sorry.", Castiel managed to say. His voice was low and raspy.

"It's not your fault.", Dean mumbled "It's his."

Castiel bit his lip, trying to avoid Deans gaze. He turned around and closed his eyes for a moment before walking towards the "It hurts you when I'm around... I should leave. I shouldn't have come in the first place... I'm sorry."

"Wait!", he heard Dean say but he didn't turn around. He felt how Dean gripped his wrist and he stopped, not wanting to upset Dean any more.

"Dean...", he attempted to say something but Dean cut him off.

"I don't want you to leave.", he blurted out. His expression desperate and his eyes wide. "Cas, I like you and I really want to get to know you better, it's just that I can't ... I know I can't ask that from you, but I need a time. Just to... to get over it somehow."

Castiel looked up at him, into those green eyes of his.

"Dean I only have one week and it'll hurt you if I-"

"Cas it's okay... it's okay, I've felt worse.", Dean said with the weakest attempt of a smile Castiel had ever seen. "Besides, I wanted to see this tattoo of yours."

Castiel shook his head but smiled anyways.

"Does that mean yes?", Dean asked and the smile turned a shade brighter.

"That means yes.", Castiel said and smiled back at him. "Now come on I think you could really use a coffee."

Dean chuckled weakly and nodded. Castiel beamed at him and dragged him onto the street on wich Dean just groaned a little. But Castiel knew that he was happy... well as happy as he could be.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Hey guys! New chapter, finally!**

 **I'm sorry that it took me so long but School just started again and I already wanna die so...**

 **Well I hope you enjoy the new chapter and yeah, guess that's all :)**

* * *

They walked to the small coffee shop in the centre of the town. There were merely a few people in there but all of them seemed to know Dean since they were all greeting him in a very friendly way. The Barista - a brunette girl about their age - gave them a broad smile.

"Dean, how's it goin'? I guess the usual?", she asked as Dean walked up to the counter with Castiel following close behind.

"Yeah the usual for me. And it's going pretty well thanks Meg.", Dean answered and turned his head to Castiel. The brunette looked at him aswell and her smile widened a little, but not in the friendly way. No, she rather looked like she was the hunter and he was her pray. Hella creepy.

"And what can I get you sweety?", Meg asked in a seductive tone. Castiel started to get a little nervous under her stare and looked at Dean for help. The blonde had his arms crossed in front of his chest, eyes narrowed and looking like he was ready to kill if he was told to. Dean didn't make things better. He thought he'd die under that baristas stare. When her staring got even more intense Dean snapped.

"Mine.", Dean barked gruffly. Castiels eyebrows shot up in surprise. Did he really just hear that?

"Hm?", the brunette turned her head quickly as if she had been in some kind of trance wich Dean pulled her out of. "You said something?"

Dean rolled his eyes and snorted, "No, just said that he get's the same as me and that you shouldn't waste your time on flirting with him."

She frowned and put her hands on her hips. "Why not?"

"Because... dibs."

Meg groaned and turned around to get to work, mumbling something like 'screw you Winchester' under her breath. Castiel eyed up Dean confusedly, but the other man looked everywhere except at him.

"So, two pieces of pie and two coffee's, little bit of sugar, no milk.", the barista sighed and handed them over their coffees and pie.

"Thanks", Dean said and paid before picking up their food and heading for the door. Castiel - still utterly confused - followed him as fast as he could.

He caught up to Dean outside the coffee shop. "What was that about?", Cas asked the other man as Dean gave him one of the cups.

"What was what about?", he asked after a while of silence.

"This 'dibs' thing.", Castiel said even though he was pretty sure that Dean knew what he meant. Dean sighed and took a sip of his coffee.

"It's just ... I needed to, I don't know. Meg tends to flirt with everything that moves- I never liked that about her to be honest - and I thought she'd at least leave you alone ... I mean you looked a little scared so..."

Castiel chuckled lightly. "Yeah I was afraid that she'd jump over the counter to kidnap me..."

Dean laughed, "Yeah that sounds like her."

"And what about the 'mine' thing?", Castiel asked and took a sip of his coffee aswell.

Dean looked at him with wide eyes and slightly pink cheeks. "You heard that?"

"Uh yeah... it was not to miss."

Dean looked down at the street, "I didn't mean to say that... it kinda slipped ... somehow."

Cas smiled to himself as he saw the redness creep up Deans neck. "When we were younger she dated a few guys I actually wanted to date, and I dated a few guys she originally wanted to date so we made an agreement. When we are after the same guy the one that claims him as his first wins. And when she looked at you with her 'I'll eat you alive', expression I... I don't know. I mean, I found you first after all."

Castiel laughed at Deans sudden shyness. "I'd rather say that I found you."

Dean laughed aswell, starting to relax again. "Yeah I guess you're right."

* * *

The two men arrived at the Winchesters house and decided to eat their pie outside since it was a nice, warm day _and_ Dean didn't want Sam to be around them all the time. If they went inside Sam would be at their sides in less than a second, so no. Outside, definately outside.

They sat down on the stairs that where leading up to the door, Dean sat close enough for their knees to touch. Castiel smiled at that. Though Dean still seemed to be a little troubled every now and then, he was getting better and Cas was happy to see that.

"Okay the service may be weird, but nothing is better than their pie!", Dean declared with a huge grin on his face. The other man chuckled and took the piece of pie Dean was holding out to him.

The two of them where eating their pie in silence, well mostly. Every once in a while Castiel would make some pleased noises - this pie really was as good as Dean said - and Dean would burst out laughing because of that - Dean even nearly fell off the steps one time.

"Dean?", Castiel asked quietly after he'd finished his pie and Dean had stopped laughing. There were some children playing with a dog in the yard of one of the neighbours house, Castiel watched them, he didn't look at Dean.

"Hm?"

"Earlier you told me that if you called 'dibs' on someone you claimed him as yours..."

"Cas ...", Dean rubbed his neck nervously, "You know how I meant that."

"Yeah, I know.", Castiel turned his head and looked at Dean with a soft smile on his face. "Means I'm yours... for one week."

Dean raised an eyebrow and smiled broadly. "So?"

"Yes, but just one week."

"One week huh?", Dean laughed and got up.

"Dean what are you doing?", Castiel asked as he took the hand Dean had offered him. The blonde man chuckled and pulled Castiel to his feet.

"I'm gonna use this week you gave me."

Castiel laughed at the way too serious expression on Deans face, on wich he was pushed playfully.

"So, what do you have in mind?", Castiel asked as he calmed down again, still breathing heavily and holding his sides.

Dean smiled mischievously. "You're gonna show me your wings angel."


	13. Chapter 13

Dean and Cas were in Cas' motel room. Dean was sitting on the bed looking at the nervous Castiel in front of him.

"You sure?", he asked, probably for the fourth time in five minutes.

Dean just laughed and nodded while making himself comfortable on the bed. Castiel sighed slightly.

"Okay but if you laugh, then I'm out.", Castiel said before pulling the t-shirt he'd been wearing over his head. He nervously bit his lip as he took a step forward and then turned around so that Dean could see the tattoos.

Deans breath caught as he saw the huge black wings that were painted on Castiels back. They were beautiful, there was just no other word for it.

They started just beneath his shoulderblades and spread over his sides, to his shoulders and ended on his upper arms. The black feathers looked more than just real, for a second Dean thought that if he touched them they would actually become real. That was when he noticed the two feathers that were tattooed onto Cas' lower back. The looked as if they'd fallen off of those gorgeous wings.

Dean hasitantly raised his hand and let it trail over the left wing, letting his fingers run over every single feather, one by one. He felt how Cas slightly shivered under his touch and smiled.

"They look beautiful Cas.", he said softly as his hand caressed one of the feathers on Cas' shoulder. Castiel turned his head to the side a little so that he could see Deans face, but the blondes eyes were never leaving the black wings.

"Thank you.", Castiel said quietly. Deans eyes shot up and met the blue of Castiels. With a smile he continued to trace his fingers along the outlines of the wings.

"How long do you have them now?"

"One year. Got them on my last birthday, Charlie suggested it.", Castiel explaind and his eyes followed the movements of Deans hand as it brushed over his shoulder.

"Mhm this Charlie you always talk about really sounds awesome... guess I'll have to visit her sometime.", Dean whispered barely loud enough for Cas to hear it. "Have to thank her for those tattoos."

Castiel turned around to face Dean, but he had been standing closer than he'd thought. Their faces were just a few inches apart and Castiel could feel Deans warm breath brush over his skin. He suddenly didn't remember what he had wanted to say just seconds earlier, the only thing he could think of were Deans eyes.

Dean shifted from one foot to another and - if that was even possible - came even closer to Cas. "How come that nobody noticed them yet?", he whispered.

"Th- they are not longer than any of m-my shirts sleeves so it's pretty easy to hide them. I-I mean it's n-not like I'm running around shirtless all the time... ", Cas stuttered. Having Dean so close made it hard for him to form words properly. Dean smiled slightly.

"Yeah too bad..."

Deans eyes were shining in the light that came through the small window behind them. How long were they Standing like that, eyes locked and noses almost touching? Castiel didn't know and he just didn't care. Usually he didn't do things like that, standing so close to people - no matter who it was - was usually out of his comfort zone. Normally he would have already backed up and put his shirt back on, but something about Dean kept him from doing it, kept him Close. Made him want to stay, made him want to get even closer. Deans eyes shifted from Cas' eyes to the feathers on Cas' shoulders and he let his hand run over the fine outlines again. Castiel closed his eyes, trying to keep his breathing regular. Everywhere Dean had tuched him, his skin was burning. It wasn't an unpleasant burn, it felt intoxicating, it made his head spin. He felt so confused at that Moment.

Dean made another step towards him, they were now standing chest to chest and Cas breath caught in his throat. Dean leaned down a little, his cheek slightly brushing Cas' cheek as he did so.

"I love your tattoos Cas.", he whispered into the other mans ear, "They are almost as beautiful as you."

Castiel felt his cheeks flush red, but he wasn't able to move, the scent of applepie and collonge clouded his mind. Dean raised his head again, so that they were able to see ech others eyes again.

Cas had never been a bold person, especially when it was about dating or stuff like that. He wasn't a person who would make 'the first move'. He didn't know what made him do it but suddenly he closed the small gap between them and he pressed his lips against Deans.

A surprised noise escaped Dean but not even a second later he had his arms wrapped around Cas' waist. Castiel put his hands into Deans neck to pull him down a little further. Deans lips were even softer than Cas had imagined them to be, he liked how they felt against his own lips. What had started as a soft kiss quickly escalated into a make out session. Castiels whole body felt like it was on flames.

After a minute or two Dean pulled away breathlessly. At some points he had started to dig his hands into Cas' dark hair, it left them even more messed up than before.

"Sweet jesus", the blonde panted and rested his forehead against Cas', "You're gonna be the death of me Cas. You know that?"

The dark haired man chuckled. "Yeah I know."


	14. Chapter 14

"Sam don't you bitchface me."

"Oh I am, and you know why? Because you're acting strange ever since Jimmy's back and won't tell me why!", Sam crossed his arms in front of his chest. "I mean, guy didn't call for a year then showed up yesterday and you were super happy, you two go out and when you come back, you cry like an hour straight! You haven't really cried since dad passed, god damn it! Then, just a few hours later you disappear again and come back drunk and smiling like an idiot."

Dean sighed, "Sam listen..."

"Oh no, that's not even everything! Don't you think I heard you screaming last night? Nightmares Dean, you had fucking nightmares! It's been years since you had nightmares! Don't think I'm stupid Dean, I saw you two on the stairs earlier today. What is going on with you? You have worse mood swings than a 13 year old Girl!"

Dean rolled his eyes, "You done?"

"No... yes I am.", Sam sighed.

"You know, I wanted to explain the whole thing anyways. If you would've just let me talk we'd be done already Sammy, but hey, I already knew that you're quite the drama queen so.", Dean shrugged. Sams jaw dropped and his bitchface intensified. "Okay okay before you start talking again, I'm just gonna explain it, but you keep your mouth shut. Not one word, understood?"

Sam rolled his eyes and nodded.

"Okay well then... I'll be right back.", Dean said and turned back to the door and opened it. "Okay Cas, come in."

Sam frowned and looked at his brother. Dean nodded his head into the direction of the open door, where... Jimmy? Didn't Dean just say something like 'Cas', or something like that?

"Sam, this is Castiel Lord. He is Jimmys twin brother, the whole thing was kind of a misunderstanding."

Sams jaw dropped and he stared at his brother with wide eyes, then he looked at Jim- Castiel. The other man was still, he was looking at Dean as if he was looking for help. Sam tried really hard to find any diferrence between the man in front of him and what he remembered about Jimmy. At first there was nothing, but he noticed that ... Cas.. Castiel? Yeah, Castiel. He wore stubble, Jimmy had been clean shaven most of the time. Castiels hair was longer and messier, but that was it, except those two points they looked just the same. Castiel looked at Dean and his brother nodded slightly. Cas threw another look at Sam before leaving the room again.

"I- I don't understand if - if that's not Jimmy where-?!"

Dean swallowed thickly. "Jimmy is... he's dead. He got struck by a lightning..."

"Wha- Oh god Dean I- I'm sorry ... ", Sam ran a hand through his hair. "Why didn't you say something? God, I acted like a total bitch!"

"Sam calm down okay, I'm fine it's just- I was pretty rude to Cas when he told me and I took him out later that day to apologise... the thing is, I like him but I had those nightmares and now I just... I fear that he's just like Jimmy."

Sam nodded quietly. He remembered just how hard it had been for Dean when Jimmy broke off the contact. His brother had been suffering for months. He had already wondered why would come here all of a sudden anyways...

All those months he'd thought about what he would tell Jimmy when he called, or whatever. He had prepared several speeches, had prepared to yell at him, but then Dean hit rock bottom a month ago or so. He gave up hoping that Jimmy would call and to be honest, it was almost worse than the time after their father died. Dean wouldn't speak, he was always in a bed mood and spent most of the time at work. At this point Sam had decided to push down his own anger and try to get Dean back to normal. So when 'Jimmy' showed up yesterday, he didn't yell, he didn't scream at him. All that mattered at that moment was to get him to see Dean, so he tried to be nice. For Dean.

Sam frowned a little. "How long is he going to stay?"

"One week."

"Like -"

"Yeah like in spain...", Dean sighed a little.

"Listen Dean, I don't think this is a good idea. You're sad because of Jimmy, but that's no reason to repeat the whole story with his twin...", Sam said and looked at his brother in simpathy.

"Sam I'm not trying to repeat the things that happened with Jimmy. This is not something I do because I miss him or so. If you knew Cas, you would understand! He is - there is just no way you wouldn't want to spend time with him!"

"Dean-"

"Oh no, you listen to me now! You are going to go to the roadhouse with me and Cas later, we are gonna eat something and you'll get to know him. If you still think that he is kind of a second Jimmy for me after that, fine. Then I'll let you drive Baby for ... two weeks.", Dean said and crossed his arms like a five year old.

Sam sighed, if Dean was betting on his Baby it really had to be serious. "Okay fine. I'm in."

Dean smiled. "Okay, Cas and I are going to take a walk around the town so you've got a little time to get ready."

"Dean are you really sure about this?"

"As sure as a man can be."


End file.
